So you started a blog- followed the journey from sub-domains to self hosted- pimped it with templates and plugged in with apps. Now it looks just dandy. “Look- a ‘ShareThis’ plug in!” First post- lots of research and love’s labor (why does love need labor BTW?). A Big long post is up (You durty… you). Sent links to friends and jumped into web stats by the hour- “WTF- I got 10 visitors! Yahoo hang on – here I come!”

Excitement continues- you get 2 comments, but nothing much- traffic went up and came down during the week. Morale follows the trending pattern. After 5 posts… you hit the writers block.

Dead fucking end. Jumping jackrabbits and holy grazing cows! Now what?

You turn to GOD. Google. Type “social media” or some link bait phrases related to your business (too many of those guys writing stuff- should get something…huff huff- Holy Shit!- too much crap. 48,787,547 links. What now? Separate the grain from chaff. Or nutrition from shit. (Bad analogy but shit matches with crap- not grain)

RSS! Damn! Why did I not think of it earlier? Log in to the reader..huff huff…phissssss…excitement whistles out like wind from a leaked ‘happy birthday’ balloon. F87king hell. Got 1000 updates- need a full day to go through these. Oi! Boss shouting (or spouse nagging- take your pick)- gotta go. Life is a bitch!

Days scroll by. Like the screen on Plurk. Only can’t go back. Youtube embeds and slideshare plugs happen, A light of inspiration appeared- and went away just as fast. Giggled at you while leaving. Like the girl in front of you in a long queue who just bought the last ice cream from the vendor as you looked on. Mental masturbation continues.

Wait what’s that appearing on your head? Horns? What? You are thinking of WordPress direct? Self f87king updatable blog? Well- what happened to originality? And customer satisfaction? And reader engagement? What? All that is jazz? You need traffic first? Ahem!

Well then…The last ‘proper’ resort. Multi author blogging. That’s the tops. Don’t need to write stuff. Invite people to write for you. There are tens within my circle who will fistfight to write for me. Right? Not so fast dood. Pick the right guys. And hope they pick you.

Choosing the right people is quintessential: “Not Shalabh Pandey. Takes too much time. Thinks too much and writes by instinct. Sometimes writes bad words. Don’t want a warrant against me. Will leave him out of this. Let’s get Seth Godin. He’s on my twitter- or facebook- or one of these things that I waste my life on…”

Well now that you got Godin to write for you, follow the protocols of multi author blogging. Next post.

What I described above is not just a frivolous description of a mind f87ked blogger. It is a reality with most. If you read carefully (and religiously bookmark and Digg and Stumble this site) you will find that there might be some tips to follow in between the sarcasm. And some of the above mentioned tools do help in getting out from the rut and getting that blog to do stuff.

As you might have comprehended by now- publishing a blog isn’t easy. Takes time- saps energy. Needs creativity- and yearns traffic. Demands commitment and rewards excellence. Mostly like all Art.

Last advice- if you are a business owner-don’t frigging blog because it is the in thing. No Sir. It was the in thing in 2002. Now it is a necessity-Almost. Helps you connect, engage and collaborate. So use it wise or loose it nice (how do I come up with these things*rolling eyes at myself*)- take expert advice if you can and spend some moolah to keep it relevant.

Do you have some tips to share? Leave a comment and we all win.

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